Biker log 214567 by Jinx

6 Jan

“🎢 nasadiki nasadiki nina sadiki
Nasadiki nasadiki nina sadiki…
Something something…na Yesu Kristu
Ninasadiki…

So I am heading home, happy to reach my two practise twisties on Miotoni road Karen. One tight left hander into a slower tightening right.

I approach the first corner… 110kph…on the rear brake… Shift down one… Into third gear… Shift down another… into second… three squeezes on the front brake… even balance… I go wide… lean leg window open… I turn…
“lean into the corner Jinx. don’t be a p#”🐱 y. ”
Two thirds into the corner, I feed on the power… Up a gear… Into third… 98kph… Overtake a Toyota crown like it was cruising for hoes in Karen.

Down to second… Gentle rear braking. Go wide, cut in…don’t cross into the oncoming lane… Lean… Lower… Early on the power… Then PAAAAAP!!!
FRIGGING TAXI making a turn at a blind corner.
Front brake… Gentle squeeze… Poop shoots out of my bum hole… Shift down… Rear wheel locks up… I am in a slide… Michelin tyres lost all heat… Bike straightens but still in a slide… Feet firmly on the footpegs… Release rear brake…tyre gets grip… And just when I thought I’ve made it…. PAP!!Β  THE DREADED WHIP!! (where the rear wheel suddenly gets grip and snaps the entire bike)…i press hard on the footpegs… I can feel my rectum grip the saddle for dear life screaming, “I swear I will never destroy a toilet again.”

Now I am off road… Bike stable… I shake my head at the taxi guy….i can’t waste my breath on a fool because at that moment I wanted to show him what a helmet head butt could do to his face. I would shove my riding boots so high up his ass he will be tasting tarmac for a month.
Two sighs of relief.. Squishy pants… Ewww… But as Celine Dion says, “aaaaaaa-a-a am alive. ”

Parks bike… Kisses Kemi in the alternator…kisses my helmet… Kisses my gloves… Kisses my armour… Kisses my shambalala….woi…
Superbikes… Cure for constipation that’s why I am singing…
“🎢 nasadiki nasadiki ninasadikiki
Na wenye Walio jipupulia nakuishi
Ninasadiki nasadiki ninasadiki”

Biker Log 20153 by Dr Jinx

11 Dec

Biker log 20153

I must start with a prayer to the Lord God almighty to confess my sins. Join hands everyone… You too newbies…

“Dear Lord, thank you for the skill of riding and blessing me with the Inked family. Please forgive all from Rongai for they not know what they did to offend you. I am grateful for Shell V-power and Jorge Lorenzo winning. However Father, I have sinned.

Yesterday was the first time in a while I rode my bike. I loved it, but I showed the middle finger to a total of 16 drivers yesterday in a span of 1hour.

One of them was an elderly man pulling out of Uchumi Langata and his senile self decided to cross two lanes in a dumb fashion and had the nerve to complain… Aki I wish a nigga would… Sorry… I digress.

Please forgive me for showing the “you are a wanker and you should be sterilized” to the GK driver after cutting me off while lane splitting.

Forgive me for telling the guy in a Toyota Noah that he has a “little finger sign.”

I take back the “Jesus you must be wearing a thong” to the guy in the Land Cruiser VX on mbagathi way after blocking the road.
Bless our country with less traffic and twisty roads.

Please let all NTSA officials get laid,  because their blue balls is the only explanation for their hate of bikers.

In your mighty name I pray and Braap”

Amen!!

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