motorcycling 101

Biker log 214567 by Jinx

“šŸŽ¶ nasadiki nasadiki nina sadiki
Nasadiki nasadiki nina sadiki…
Something something…na Yesu Kristu
Ninasadiki…

So I am heading home, happy to reach my two practise twisties on Miotoni road Karen. One tight left hander into a slower tightening right.

I approach the first corner… 110kph…on the rear brake… Shift down one… Into third gear… Shift down another… into second… three squeezes on the front brake… even balance… I go wide… lean leg window open… I turn…
“lean into the corner Jinx. don’t be a p#”šŸ± y. ”
Two thirds into the corner, I feed on the power… Up a gear… Into third… 98kph… Overtake a Toyota crown like it was cruising for hoes in Karen.

Down to second… Gentle rear braking. Go wide, cut in…don’t cross into the oncoming lane… Lean… Lower… Early on the power… Then PAAAAAP!!!
FRIGGING TAXI making a turn at a blind corner.
Front brake… Gentle squeeze… Poop shoots out of my bum hole… Shift down… Rear wheel locks up… I am in a slide… Michelin tyres lost all heat… Bike straightens but still in a slide… Feet firmly on the footpegs… Release rear brake…tyre gets grip… And just when I thought I’ve made it…. PAP!!Ā  THE DREADED WHIP!! (where the rear wheel suddenly gets grip and snaps the entire bike)…i press hard on the footpegs… I can feel my rectum grip the saddle for dear life screaming, “I swear I will never destroy a toilet again.”

Now I am off road… Bike stable… I shake my head at the taxi guy….i can’t waste my breath on a fool because at that moment I wanted to show him what a helmet head butt could do to his face. I would shove my riding boots so high up his ass he will be tasting tarmac for a month.
Two sighs of relief.. Squishy pants… Ewww… But as Celine Dion says, “aaaaaaa-a-a am alive. ”

Parks bike… Kisses Kemi in the alternator…kisses my helmet… Kisses my gloves… Kisses my armour… Kisses my shambalala….woi…
Superbikes… Cure for constipation that’s why I am singing…
“šŸŽ¶ nasadiki nasadiki ninasadikiki
Na wenye Walio jipupulia nakuishi
Ninasadiki nasadiki ninasadiki”

Advertisements

1 thought on “Biker log 214567 by Jinx”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s