I am lost. It’s been 3 years since I gave my life n my all to Christ.
I would honestly say that for the first 2 years, I was deliriously happy. Church was/is great, the progressive 10 week trainings programs and numerous workshops ,the loving and supportive community, filled the days of my life.
I was am impacted, transformed, connected and loving it. In this church I have met sincere, talented, godly people working on to leverage their spiritual gifts in order to impact the city, country, and the continent.
Sadly am not one of them (not right now)
This last year it became clear to me that my boldness and service were not matched by equal measures of wisdom and righteousness.
Am losing it, my personal relationship with the Lord has gone to the dogs. I am constantly and knowingly tripping myself up. I am a man who loves rigid structures and routines ,blame a stint in the forces for this. Let me loose upon the world and hope pray I have an enduring spirit and focus?? For real?
I am in a state of disconnect with my sincere spirit of humility and submission.
I need want to find my way back …..where, how?
No ….for someone who was brought up in a home full of love and parents and siblings with so much faith am ridiculously weak. (When did this happen? )
Its fairly simple, I know what I should do.
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